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Bible Study: Fever Pt.3, Intro (Part 2)

Updated: Oct 4, 2023

[Note: This series originally started as a project on Reddit. You can find an explanation of what Bible Study is all about here.]


Happy Sunday!


Today we are returning to Part 3's Intro and going deeper with our sacred writing practice. For the sacred writing practice, we choose a random line from the text and then journal about it individually for ten minutes to see what connections our minds make.

ateez deja vu

04: sacred practice


GD: On to sacred practice, which is the writing practice I believe?


Bobby: Yes? feels right


GD: Okay, siri has given us line 2


"It also brought an expansion of human lifespan to 200 years."

Bobby: Huh. Well, see you in 10


[Ten minutes later]


GD: I have finished.


During our conversation, Bobby mentioned how tiring it would be to live for 200 years, and we kind of moved past it pretty quickly, but it did make me start thinking. Time is such a tricky and weird concept because sometimes, time moves so slowly, I just want to rush it forward. But then I simultaneously feel like I never have enough time. There is never enough time to do every thing that I want to do with and in my life.


I’ve always been the type of person with too many projects and not enough time. I do have too many goals for one person to accomplish. I want to start a kpop bookstore coffee shop, at the same time I want to become an internet personality, at the same time I want to be a prolific author, at the same time I want to travel the world. Could I accomplish it all if I lived for 200 years?


And I guess I just don’t know. The thing that makes life special and precious is that it is so short–and you have to choose how you want to spend your time. I’m reminded of Booktiny and our attempt at an internet book club. We attempted to make the deadlines longer so that more people could finish reading the books in time, but actually… less people read the books. I think most people, and me in particular, need a sense of urgency to accomplish anything, even things I want to do.


I want to make bracelets for the shop, but unless a put on Instagram “These bracelets will be on the shop starting next week!” I will never actually make those bracelets for the shop. I have to have a date, some sort of end time that I’m working towards. Even now, with my shorter lifespan, I still think ‘well I’ll have time one day’ ‘I’ll open my kpop bookstore coffee shop in ten years’. And that’s true–I can do that, god willing. But if it’s not an immediate goal that I’m working towards, will I ever do that?


I guess what I’m thinking is that 200 years sounds like a lot, but I don’t know that I’d do more with my 200 years than I would with my however many I get this time around. I suppose for me, the question is always ‘what am I living for’, ‘why am I doing the things that I’m doing?’ Which is actually something I think about a lot, and that’s the thing that keeps me working on whatever I happen to be working on. And for the most part, I stay very busy, because I know that I just don’t have as much time as I need.


Bobby:Oof. The anxiety I feel reading this. Because it's exactly me. There are so many things I want to do but I know I can't do them now. But when will there ever be enough time?


GD: There just never is enough time, and I think if we lived for 200 years, the only thing that would change was a perception of how time was passing. Like, it would still feel like not enough time, you know?


Bobby: Right. It's like how I get basically nothing done over the summer because I have too much time


GD: Because the more time you have, the more you think you can do with it


Bobby: No urgency. I can definitely read this book, create this database, sew this new wardrobe, design these new timelines later because I have so much later


But I don't actually have the later. The later is now gone


GD: If someone told me I was getting a week off--by which I would interpret as a week away from all responsibilities including maintaining my house and family--I wouldn't take that week to finish the projects I have. I would come up with a bunch of new projects I can start now that I have a whole week off.


Bobby: Yes. Same. I have multiple journals in process but what am I doing instead? Making new pc binders.


GD: Which is Important


I need to start a new book outline for this pitch I just sent in, but instead I've spent $120 on equipment for stop animation videos because who knows why


Bobby: Freedom to pursue even our temporary passions is a privilege


Remember when you were en route to being the world's greatest paper maker?


GD: Oh god. My paper making that I was supposed to re-start


How can I start it now that I'm a stop animation prodigy?


Bobby: I am constantly at war with myself trying to decide if I'm going to feed my inner wolf that wants to hunker down on one single craft and become truly excellent at it or the other wolf that wants to try everything and chase every new interest that takes my fancy


GD: Do we think a blog post on stop animation and making a stop animation binder organization video would be something worth pursuing? I was imaging like a video where the cards happily place themselves in a binder page (or hehetmon places them for me), and doing like a behind the scenes of the set up and explaining the process


I do feel like the blog post would be incredibly short. because the process is incredibly easy.


Bobby: I think if it's something that you would enjoy reading yourself and if we wish to bring in like-minded people, then yes


GD: Alternatively, I could just talk about some of my favorite Jongho pages, and then include stop motion animation of those pages being set up.


I say Jongho only because he's the only binder that I've started working on.. doing them one at a time.


GD: I do like when people tell me how to do things that I like.


Bobby: As a person who doesn't know what they're doing and can't ever settle on an aesthetic, I'd enjoy hearing about your decision making process


GD: But anyways, you should share your writing lol


Bobby: I watched someone on yt talk through the organization of their Yeo binder which is what inspired me to make separate binders for my line like three weeks ago


And then I entered crisis mode


But yes. Writing


GD: I've started this video. it's forever long already.. but I do intend to make a very long video about the process of going from a bias line binder to individual binders + ot8.


it won't involve stop animation, and that makes me sad


Bobby:


Expansion feels like the wrong word. Expansion has the idea of becoming bigger which my brain also associates with being fuller and wider. But it’s pretty clear that these people are not living fuller lives. Really, it seems like it would be torture to exist for 200 years but for your life to be meaningless. I also wonder if this life expansion was for everyone or was only applicable to those living within the bounds of society–as in, following the rules. Would the Grimes siblings have been expected to live that long even living in a cave?


My mind is wandering to the idea that a safe life is not necessarily a good life. One of the themes I told the kids to track as they were completing their summer reading was the idea of risk vs. safety. Is it worth giving up all risk in order to live long and safely? Is it worth risking your safety in order to pursue other things? I’m feeling really tired so I don’t have the words I want. But like, an adventure is always a risk. Leaving your house is a risk. But is staying safe at home worth it in the end.


Life needs meaning to be worth living. But in this society, everything with meaning has been stripped away. There’s no indication that normal family units exist. But someone’s having the babies somewhere? Who’s having the babies? I assume it must be something like the Giver community where all relationship has been stripped away from the procreation process. We’re all agreed this is a sexless society, yes?


I’m having a random thought about the good memories. Those must have been old good memories. Because I don’t see people having good times in this current society. So current people must not be getting memories removed because what even is there to remember?


GD: You know, if people aren't making new good memories, it would make the existing old good memories more valuable


I'm reminded of an author who once said that people read sci-fi/fantasy because it's the safest way to explore life's most urgent problems, and I can't remember who the author was.

but the whole safety vs liberty is an ever pressing societal issue. Even when we don't live in the world of Z.


You know I wanted to be an FBI agent, and in my counterterrorism class, I wrote a paper about the airport scanner machines being unconstitutional. And the argument I made at the time wasn't that we can't exchange personal liberty for personal safety, but that if we are going to exchange our personal liberties, it has to be 'worth it'. The taking away of the liberty should actually result in increased safety, and airport scanners have been shown to be notoriously unreliable. The only thing they actually do is give the illusion of safety, which in some ways is more dangerous?


Anyways, I don't actually have a problem with airport scanners--it doesn't upset me to go through them. I just think they're a waste of time. But during the research of that paper, that is what the supreme court says--that the exchange of liberty for safety must be worth it

and what does 'worth it' even mean?


Bobby: Feels purposely vague. Because worth is determined by the individual, to a certain extent


GD: I think the supreme court test has like multiple factors, and I remember one of them being that the taking of the liberty has to be "narrowly tailored" and that also it must be "effective" in maintaining the safety.


Bobby: Effective also feels vague. There are degrees of effectiveness


GD: Right? I mean most of the law is vague for the very reason that everything is so case dependent, which is why nothing can be memorized.


But the question of... when is it okay to give up liberty in order to be safe? is a very present question in our own society as much as Zs


Bobby: As simple as "why should I be forced to wear a seatbelt?"


GD: We have to save people from their wrong choices


Bobby: Stupid, uneducated individuals, sure. CEOs of mega corporations? Nah, they're fine. Let them do what they want


GD: Anti-capitalism so strong today


Bobby: So strong. I'm upset that I have to work to live and that means that I can't always buy every pc I want. I'm beefing with the system


I have taken things Personally


Never mind that it will probably be good for me in the long run, I am choosing to throw a tantrum


GD: That you don't have a confirmed Preacher Jongho cards haunts me


I know that this Everline set sends 1 extra for every 3 you buy, so we may get one for you anyways. But still. I am haunted.


Bobby: Haunted is good if you're entering ghost territory


GD: True


Shall we go to our connections and takeaways portion?


Bobby: Yes. I am hungry and becoming irrational


 

05: connections and takeaways (previously mental murder board)


GD: I think my main takeaway is that perhaps the changes in society came about more slowly, and that I will just have to live with many unanswered timeline questions.


Bobby: My brain is nothing but rabbit trails today


Entirely unprompted, I was thinking about Bouncy through the lens of being divorced from the lore and whether it would make any sense in that context


And I had a bit of a struggle dealing with the android guardian


But then came to the conclusion that he's obviously a faceless, menacing figure. And that the mask seems to indicate that he lacks individual identity


Which naturally took me to Halateez


GD: This has made me look up the English translation for Bouncy


"Can't live life standing still" really makes me think about my writing


Bobby: Which brought me back to the connection between memory and identity


Which then took me to The Giver for the 800th time (which is fair as I'm teaching it atm)


GD: A nice mental murder board in your head today


Bobby: And I think my takeaway from all that is that I think there is a certain level of shared memory that we all have. It's not individual experiences but the overall human experience that connects us. And that's the thing that The Community and Strictland are both missing.

There's a greater thesis in there that needs developing


GD: Yes, that makes sense


Bobby: And I think this is what I'm writing about for wtww [Editor’s note: lol, nope]


GD: Ohhh, that will be good


I had fun writing the lore one even though it's not very ateez video centered


Bobby: The Fun is the Thing


 

06: closing


Bobby: Alright then, shall we wrap it up?


GD: Yes, we need our patron saints


Bobby: What sort of hymn do we want for Strictland?


GD: Oh is it hymns first? I always forget


Bobby: Hymns, prayer, patron saints, rosary


GD: Right I'm back


Take Me Home? Cyberpunk?


It feels like we should pick something from 3


Bobby: I'm still saving TMH. I did ponder Cyberpunk


3 doesn't give us a lot to work with since we've already used half the songs and the remainders don't make sense


GD: Rocky and Not Too Late are the only real options from part 3? And they're not great


Bobby: We've already used NTL. I suspect we'll need Rocky later


GD: What about TMH idiotape remix?


WDIG or The Ring could also work.. or Propaganda


Bobby: I have a wild suggestion


Utopia?


I also really like The Ring but I'm concerned we'll need it later


This entry has no people in it, so I don't have an emotion to connect with it


GD: Utopia could work. It's bright, but... that's what utopia's are supposed to be. And they never are


Bobby: Does it feel a bit disrespectful though


GD: Hmmm


Bobby: If my long-dead theory that Z is Hongjoong from the future were true, I'd go for it. But I'm not sure it's quite right.


GD: What about Over the Horizon?


Bobby: No. WDIG. You were right


GD: Lol. Okay, WDIG


Final answer


Bobby: Final answer


[Editor’s Note: As it turned out, we’d already picked WDIG, so in a post-bible study conversation we settled on Take Me Home - Idiotape Remix]


GD: Your prayer for the boys? Hard because no boys are mentioned lol


But I suppose mine is that Ateez will see what has happened to this world and see the similar trajectory their own world is on, and take that as a motivation?


Bobby: Yes, I want them to fully realize what exactly they left behind, like Yeosang has already.


Alrighty, patron saints


GD: I feel very out of sorts about Jongho, and I don't know who can help me feel better.

While also helping me get some work done this week.


Perhaps San?


Bobby: I was thinking San or Yeo. For you. I have mine. Really I think anyone is a good choice for accepting reality but not letting it bog you down


GD: I think I will go with San--he has a steadying presence, which I think I need. And also I need his motivation for self-improvement.


Bobby: I don't believe I've fully accepted the Jongho hiatus. It doesn't feel real yet


GD: It doesn't.


I suppose it will feel real when they have the first official schedule that's not like a concert so that everyone can really see it, and he's not there.


Bobby: And so in the meantime, I want to stay focused and steady. But I also want to reclaim my work-life balance and have the energy to pursue my passions again


And so Hongjoong it is


GD: I also considered Hongjoong. I hope he helps you find your balance this week

To the rosary? I don't know what boy to invoke?


Bobby: I'm having a lot of feelings about Hongjoong suddenly. Feels auspicious


GD: I think Hongjoong is always a guiding star of motivation, no matter who my patron saint is


Bobby: I maintain that he is the source of all chaos in Ateez. But at the same time, I feel strongly that any endeavor of which he is a part cannot possibly fail.


GD: Yes. I'm feeling like actually maybe I know what I want the rosary to be


Bobby: Oh lord


GD: In light of Jongho going on hiatus.. and what that means for the upcoming schedules


8 makes


Bobby: 1 team


GD: Be the light


Bobby: Halazia


GD: Felt important


Bobby: Always is


GD: Barely in time for me to go to this movie but we did it. Gold stars


Bobby: Time for LUNCH


Good job everybody


 

Thank you for joining us! Share your writing with us or let us know your thoughts on the world of Z, and we will be back next week with Jongho's page!

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